Monday, 15 August 2016

Life Lessons at Colosoul!

Life Lessons at Colosoul: Neil 

Social Anxiety and Self

Lately, I've been very preoccupied with different stuff; working, university work, youth group practice, being a volunteer, and above all that, trying to fit in time to catch up with old friends and meeting new people. Most of my free time, people would ask if I want to grab lunch or perhaps catch up. For some weird reason, I tend to curl up back to my shell and always end up just staying home and rather watch Netflix and eat a whole tub of ice cream in bed. I'm normally a jolly person who would be up to head to the nearest Maccas just to satisfy my chicken nuggets cravings. Do you ever experience that? Just me..? Honestly, the worst case is when you were supposed to meet a potential date  but your 'inner gramma' just starts to take over and like the usual, you end up bedridden and wasting another day of your life. In addition to that, ranting to your bestie about how frustrating it is being single. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, but it's just something that is gradually taking over my emotions. I've always been skeptical about mental problems; especially ones that involve social interaction -- probably because I'm being denial. But before you close this window and judge me for saying that, let me confirm; SOCIAL ANXIETY IS REAL.

I don't know what the main reason is for this happening. From researching, it only said that the cause is unknown too. But it's that weird feeling of being scared to meet people, and it can seem like you're just being lazy? It can seem and feel in different ways. It feels like you are very nervous, worried and pressured even though there's really nothing to be worried about. As cliche as it sound, perhaps this was a sign for me to realize that it is indeed true. Perhaps I'm meant to share about it to the world. If it wasn't for those experiences, then I wouldn't be typing this. But it's quite sad because people (just like how I used to) think that it's not anything serious. IT IS SERIOUS.

One day I opened up to the people at the office (Colosoul) about this problem that I've been experiencing. Normally I'm not the type that opens up that easily when it comes to my social problems and things that I prefer to keep to myself. After opening up, I realized how many people feel the same way. It was amazing to see that so many of my peers actually feel the same way. What's more interesting is that the people who felt that way were those who I thought seemed very confident and problem-free. This just proves that social anxiety can be in different forms. It can be something that you won't even notice, but it's already there. It's something important that we should realize and educate ourselves about. So based on my personal experience, before you start judging someone, make sure you know what's going on. At the end of the day, whatever you notice about a person; both positive and negative -- there's a deeper reason behind it.


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